Setting Healthy Boundaries – Harness Spring’s Assertive Energy to Stand Strong with Love

As spring unfurls its vibrant colours and the world around us awakens with new life, there's a powerful, natural momentum that can help us do the same within ourselves. Spring is not only about renewal and growth—it's about asserting ourselves in a grounded, life-affirming way. And one of the most loving, transformative things we can do with this seasonal energy is to set healthy boundaries.

Why Boundaries Matter

Boundaries are the invisible lines that define what’s okay and what’s not okay for us. They’re acts of self-respect and clarity—offering protection, not walls. When we don’t set or maintain boundaries, we can end up feeling drained, resentful, overwhelmed, or even lost in relationships and obligations that don’t reflect our true needs.

But boundaries aren’t about shutting others out. They’re about staying connected to ourselves whilst staying connected to those we care about. When set with intention and care, boundaries become one of the most loving things we can offer—not just to ourselves, but to the people around us.

My friend Gary Waters, a Mindset Coach I used to work with, often reminded me of this with a question that would stop me in my tracks:

“Are you including yourself in that love—or is that love costing you?”

That simple question shone a light on my own deep conditioning around people-pleasing and the urge to rescue others. With his guidance, I’ve been learning how to include myself in the love I so freely give.

I know many parents will resonate with this. When the needs of your children feel so urgent and important, it can seem almost impossible to prioritise your own. You end up running on empty, believing it's good parenting—but trust me, it pays to put yourself back at the top of the list. Loving from a full, resourced cup is not selfish—it’s sustainable. Your kids will thank you for it, and you’ll enjoy the time you share with them so much more.

Often, the limiting beliefs that hold us back from asserting boundaries are rooted in fear: the fear of hurting someone’s feelings, being seen as selfish, triggering rejection, or creating conflict. But read on—there is another way. Boundaries don’t have to create distance. They can, in fact, deepen connection when built on truth, clarity, and love.

Spring Energy: Assertiveness with Compassion

Spring teaches us something vital: how to be both strong and tender. Think of a sprout pushing through the earth—it’s soft and delicate, yet it moves with incredible determination. This is the exact kind of energy we can harness when learning to speak our truth, say no, or ask for what we need.

Assertiveness doesn’t mean being harsh or aggressive. It means standing in your truth with clarity and calm. It’s not about control—it’s about honesty. And spring’s energy gives us that little push of confidence to do so with grace.

Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries This Spring

1. Tune Inward Before Speaking Out

Start by asking yourself: What do I need right now? Your body and emotions often know the answer before your mind does. Are you saying yes out of fear? Avoiding a conversation to keep the peace? Spring invites us to listen to our inner truth with fresh curiosity. If the conversation feels too uncomfortable at this time, refer to the handout in the resources section of my website to discover the self-help technique: Emotional Stress Relief. This provides a powerful way to process the emotions and feelings and reframe the experience.

2. Practice “Clear Is Kind” Communication

Brené Brown puts it perfectly: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” When setting a boundary, be honest, direct, and gentle. Avoid overexplaining or apologising for having needs. A simple, “I’m not available right now,” is both kind and firm.

3. Start Small

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Choose one area—perhaps your time, your energy, or your space—and explore where boundaries are needed. Each small act of self-respect builds trust in yourself.

4. Let Go of Guilt

Guilt often shows up when we begin to set boundaries, especially if we’re used to people-pleasing. But remember, guilt is not the same as wrongdoing. It’s just a sign that you’re stepping into new territory—and that’s okay.

5. Stand Strong with Love

When you set a boundary, do it with love. Not just love for the other person, but love for yourself. That kind of love isn’t soft—it’s strong. And like spring, it brings life wherever it goes.

Positive Phrases to Support Healthy Boundaries

Here are some loving yet firm phrases to help you maintain healthy boundaries:

• “I am really aware that I can’t give this the energy it needs right now. ”

• “I’m afraid this doesn’t work for me. I appreciate your understanding.”

• “I’m not available for that, but I wish you all the best with it.”

• “I need some time to think about it and then I will get back to you.”

• “This is really important to me, and I would really appreciate your support with it.”

• “I really care about you and for me to show up for you in the way that I want to,  I need some time and space to recharge.”

• “I’d love to support you, but right now, I have some other priorities to take care of first.”

• “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m going to pass this time.”

• “I would absolutely love to help you. I am going to finish what I am doing and then we will sit down together and I will give you my full attention.”

In Closing

As you watch nature bloom around you, let it remind you of your own power to grow, to speak, and to stand tall. Boundaries are not just protective—they’re regenerative. They make space for authenticity, healing, and deeper connection. Use this season to root into your truth and rise with love.